Moving out & dodgy cunts

So welcome to the mansion...

I've moved into a house that has character.
This particular character is riddled with parasites and is someone you would avoid outside of the bar, but perhaps be good friends with on a particularly drunken night.

Character.

I am not a particularly anal person when it comes to cleaning and such. I just like to know that I use the toilet I wont catch several STDs. I'm a bitch like that.

It is quite the party house, except at the same time if you have people over the thing they all say is "the house has a lot of potential". That is the exact same sentiment we had when we moved in. Only the cracked window and stuff from the previous tenants is more of an inconvenience than we had previously thought.

As is the legion of possums outside which have fed on the mysterious collection of plants and become enraged super possums.

....Not really. That'd be pretty cool though.
They're just normal possums. They poop and make a fucked up noise.

Speaking of fucked up noises, there was a loud noise downstairs and the housemates and I armed ourselves and went downstairs to face the attacker. They grabbed swords from their rooms and I didn't want to be unarmed so I grabbed the quickest, most weapon-like thing I could find. In heinsight I could have looked for 30secs more and grabbed my pocket knife.

But that wouldn't have been nearly as awesome as...

Mr. Planky was out for blood!
I like to think people think I would draw on it before marching downstairs into battle!
However, that was a previous drunken antics (#sharehouse lyff)

So we get down there and search around and figure out it's probably nothing/a possum(blood possum/blossum)/wind/etc... we return upstairs VICTORIOUS!

I just imagine if we were in a video game that I would be the joke character that you chose because you liked the outfit or they said funny catch phrases. Or you got an achievement if you complete the game using JUST Mr. Planky.

Yeppers. This is how my brain works.

I'm lovely

So...

People are stupid.
But this is not news to anyone.

At work the other day I wanted to read finishing my book, "the secret history" but my co-worker insisted on watching videos narrated by the most annoying voice on the planet. Having said this, you have to take into account that I have seen Japan-orama. Great show, except I have very limited patience for lisps.

This guy didn't have a lisp. He was just stupid. Talking about shit I don't care about. The history of pac man. Jesus christ even if the guy narrating this was Chris Hemsworth or Justin Timberlake or even Brad Pitt (I enjoyed a documentary about the third world struggle because of Brad's sexy voice. Yes. Enjoyed. Watching them... dem kidz.)

So I left and sat outside in the shade, it was a nice day. Sunny, with a nice breeze.

Then BAM! Tradies. I overheard more than I would care to mention. Although more than once were profanities used. Outside a childcare centre. How uncooth. What cunts.

At the time I had such a feeling of anger and superiority that I just wanted to walk away and sit feeling happy in my own little pretentious world. But I sat there and managed to be abosrbed into the world of the book and then only return again when my cravings for caffiene set in...

Now, being shallow does have its' perks. Because you are able to look past things like personality and just appreciate the art. The Beauty of people. However, they didn't even have that.

Ehem, so I guess what I'm trying to say is...

If you're not pretty, and you have a shit personality, and a shit voice. Don't be near me, don't let me hear you, see you, smell you. Nobody wants your shit.

Rawrrrr! I'm a dinosaur! (Also, I'm going to move out, yo)

And they will laugh (ahahahahahahahgahaahaha)

Sooo...
I bought a dinosaur muffin tray. No big deal. Are you kidding me? That shit cray.
It's the first purchase towards my "throwing myself in the deep end adventure extravanganza!"
Which is what I'm going to call it now. Or. Like. TMITDEAE... how aboubt DEAE.
Deep End Extravanganza REPRESENT!

Oh lordy loo am I white.

NOW!
This is going to be oh so terrifying.

No more NBN.
Having to work otherwise having to move out.
Perhaps not being able to take Harley with me?
Bills.
Food.
Looking after myself!!
What is the world coming too...

I suppose, these things have to happen. & maybe I'll learn a lot.

Take a risk once in a while, christ! What do you want from me.
I'm a mother fuckin' baller.

I found a book today in ...the book store. That was called "surviving the streets". There was a page on the DJ scene, asbestos... you know. The usshh when you're in 'da hood'. As I assume I will be. This book was great. Colourful. Scary people of all different sizes, shapes, colours.

PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO MIDDLE CLASS SUBURBUN LIFE!
It's scary out here!

Although, truth be told the book would have been amusing and a good read potentially. But no way in hell was I paying $50 for that piece of crap. I can only hope that some 90 billion year old buys that for their pregnant teenage grandaughter to tell her she's kicked out. Oh, haha. What a laugh that would be.
What a waste of your pension, grandma Jill!

Just a short one to put that out there.
More on DEAE soon, puppet!

Staying home to play WoW instead of a 21st

AND I CAN'T FUCKING LOGIN BECAUSE OF AUTHENTICATING!

Okay okay.
Now, this is actually my main problem, not the fact that I am being totally lame and staying home rather than going to a 21st for 3 different people.

But it's okay because I only know one of them.

&& I'm really hungover.
Antibiotics, tequila and vodka are a dangerous combination.
Who knew?

Aaaaand... it's still authenticating.

In the mean time here's a joke.

Why'd the mexican push his wife off a cliff?
TEQUILA!

Hahahahaha!
I so funneh.
But not really because I saw it online and I laughed super hard.

So you know what really rustles my jimmies?
My brother talking about "all the women I've dated" when he has no experience, trying to tell me shit.
People who don't like mushrooms. They're great!
Vegetarians.
Hangovers.
Buses.
Wiggas.
Living at home.
& other things but my creativity is NOT with me right now.

I saw paranormal activity 4 the other day.
It's funny because all those movies have different directors and they're all terrible. This one was exceptionally boring. The soundtrack. Those ominous tones? Yeah, they're onto a winner for sure.

It reminded me of my ex though. Considering we went to see the third one for our first date. He's gone all strange though and told me how he was super pissed at me because I'm a horrible person even though he's a massive douchebag. HarleyQuinn and I know how to pick 'em. But I mean at least the Joker plays with her and does it with a smile not that... you know that expression people who think they're cool have all the time because smiling is too... I dunno... normal? And this weird strut thing. Not attractive. You can't walk next to that. It's like they don't quite know how to walk and they're constantly dizzy or something so they have to keep re-adjusting so they don't fall off the planet.

Arrrgh! I've been disconnected again.

I also dislike people who freak out when they're licked by a dog. Get over yourselves you prissy bitches, he's giving you a kiss.
I don't like full cream milk and/or people asking me if I reaaaally need skim milk. Nah, I was asking for shits and giggles.

you know what's super cool though?
STRINGERS!

You must admit you loved them in Primary school.
They're super cool.
Watching all the babies eat them I've gotten really excited.
They also make me want yoghurt. Babies love that shit.
They make it look so tasty.
In fact, I would totally eat a yoghurt marinated baby.

Mmmmm... steak.

I googled cooking a baby and this came up:

This video is not funny, and the filming and everything is just ...awful.
But the thing that made me laugh (and therefore everyone else will) is one of the comments:
"why would people have a baby then cook it if you dont want a baby then dont have one".
This comment is brought to you by cheyanne randall 
My, my Cheyanne, will somebody PLEASE think of the children! 

You know it!

You know that time when you go to get the adapter for your camera so you can upload photos to facebook so it looks like you have a life and don't just stare into the distance thinking of puns, blogging, yelling at video games & procrastinating every aspect of productive life?

Too specific?
This is why I shouldn't write for a newspaper.

The title would be like "that time you were meant to go out and then you didn't so you started to clean but you didn't do that either and then you went to eat icecream and then you couldn't because the kilojoule count was too high so instead you watched cartoons and napped and when you woke up at 6am you were wide awake and nobody was awake to talk to you so you just went on tumblr and looked at cats even though you're a dog person"

...the article would be about three words long.

The title was the bulk, I'd just use the newspaper to talk about my life.
Which is my favourite activity.

Self obsessed?
I am by no means self obsessed!

Okay okay.
Back to the world that other humans inhabit I have created a better use of nipples.
Imagine utilizing that space for something other than creating annoying bumps in tops/dresses etc and for honking.

I mean, don't get me wrong.
Nipples are all good.
But I'm all about the ideas.
Utilizing these things for the greater good. (The greater good).

I mean, I like nipples so much I learned how to create nipple tassles the other day at a hen's night [pasties].

Which is the original inspiration for my invention. "Nipple homing missles".
Now, these are to be used for two different hings...

1.) I have a massive problem losing all my shit, so they will help you find them, in this case, they do not damage the goods.

2.) Defending yourself against nibbly grabs (is that a thing?) or just. y'know. Douches.


Side note: I'm in a good mood, but I want to drink good. I'm listening to funkoars and talking shit to people and drinking the terrible goon that's been sitting in my drawer seems more temping than it should be. Nobody is really online that would tell me "don't do it, you fool" but perhaps we'll just not mention it.

Is a funkoars & goon night in when you're a tiny white girl in child care on a week night and you haven't just been dumped a thing?

It goddam should be.

THE END.

I can't find my Xbox controller, I might murder my dog

Where the fuck is my xbox controller? I need to be saving Gotham!
That was my thought earlier today. Which lead to thinking, oh christ. What if  the puppies have gotten to it? Then thinking fuck. is it worth having this cute thing be all adorable n shit when she just destroys my stuff? Maybe I should never have gotten one!

Of course I found it moments later behind the couch but that's beside the point. She had destroyed my network cord days earlier and the $30 required for me to buy a new one is just an outrage. So I've been using my smart phone's wi-fi instead. Until today when I realised I can just use the cord direct from the NBN and deny the laptop internet, muahhahaha.

This is Harley-Quinn about to attack Batman, the one lying on him is Kiki.

Yes, I named my dog after Harley-Quinn, but I mostly just call her "Harley" so that makes it more normal, right? Or the fact that I call her "Harl" or "Harlz", because we're totally so close and I'm cool like that.

Ehem, so perhaps it's the impatience I feel right now because I just ate two buritos and I want to eat dessert while playing secret world but they haven't digested yet but puppy training is making me pretty keen and anxious and all these emotions at once that I shouldn't be worrying about just yet but because I'm batshit I am.

This stems from me trying to take a box away from Harley and experiencing difficulties.

Why can't she play with the super cool toys I give her like this toy that looks like tree trunks from adventure time or the blue batman plushie pictured above!?

Why she would rather chew on my tissues (I have been sick for forever & ever and it's making me mad) which is like. totally super gross. And boxes? I'm not a particularly tidy person, I'll admit. But comeon, Harlz. We need to work as a team here!

I like you so much better when you're not a douche

So at StoneDay I met the singer from The Grisworlds.
Nice guy, funny & approachable.

I had this weird moment where when I was watching him on stage I felt like. Hm. I feel like I'm going to meet him. Would I sleep with him? Is he too much older than me? Fuck that, he's from a band. But where would we go?

Yes. My brain managed to stress about an imaginary scenario that I created just from a "feeling" that I got when looking at them perform. We did end up meeting, because I was near the front of the stage and he was hovering there whilst someone else was performing and he was rad. However we did not have passionate sex that night (or any other night as far as I'm aware) and I will never know what our babies will look like.

I actually have been listening to their music so much more now because of this. By that of course I mean listening to two songs over and over again on youtube. I don't know if you can buy their CD. But also buying music is... foreign.

 Going to concerts is also foreign to me. Going out and seeing live music is exciting. It' like. Greater than youtube & winamp.

Reading Frankie magazine and listening to indie tunes, I feel a bit like perhaps this indie craze has not left me unaffected. Oh my!  I enjoy their wall planners that include two months too. It makes me realise how much I have on.
And now empty my Fridays are.

Work work work Tues-Fri.
But now I have Mondays off and I'm not particularly sure what to do with them.
Thus here we are!

Whatamidoingwithmylife.

OH GAWD.

I also had the pleasent experience of a hen's night.
SO much grog.
So much honesty of how we are terrible people.
But it's okay; we're all terrible.

Babies are cute

Only not because they're dull.
I miss university week night drinking and having a lot of free time. All I want to do when I get home now is sleep. I am not even sure teaching is what I want to do now. The people around me are just... ergh. Working with all women. I literally work with chickens too. The metaphor there is just too obvious for me to say. We each take turns taking eggs home too. No doubt to feed our husbands and kidlets and go to bed at 8pm to our soap operas.
BLEK!

When did I become so fucking boring?

In the book I am reading about these intellectuals at university they are mocking their friend for his predictable life, with his plain wife who teaches elementary school and the sickening sight of his apron and the BBQ with all the children running around them.

I want a family but jesus christ. Everyone wants to feel unique. Do they not?
Am I destined to be some fuckstick like that? Boring as all hell.

Sickening.

I have been saying to myself that I will be the exception to the rule, the cool teacher that will be quirky and unique and won't be a boring old fart. But how long will that last. I get tired sooo freaking easily. Full time work is balls. How will that change as I age?

It scares me to be buckled into something but I lack the balls to go out and try new things.

I am a hypocrite in my own mind, it's not okay.

Mini Drunks

Babies are just mini drunks!
They really are. All that pooping and swaying, needing to be supported and giggling at the dumbest shit. They even throw up randomly & devour food whilst getting it everywhere. They don't like to be touched, or like to be touched by certain people and cry when they aren't. They need constant attention and attack/pull people on a whim.

 My first encounter with a baby one I didn't want to hold him. He was my nephew and I was worried that anything, well, any person could exist that was smaller than me. I didn't know how to deal with a person smaller than me and this led to me holding him as awkwardly as one would hold a bomb. Luckily for both me and those who have held bombs, he did not "go off" so to speak. This short encounter made me weary of babies and skeptical of any future encounters.

Link gets me.

*Enter job that falls into my lap in daycare*

Children are rad.
They are much smarter than people give them credit for and they enjoy me roaring like a dinosaur and generally acting like a fool.
They actually ask for me to do this rather than my friends insisting on me stopping. It's great.
Everything's great.

OH WAIT!
Now I'm in the baby room and babies are fucking boring. Have you ever tried to chase a baby whilst acting like a dinosaur? It either looks at you like your fucking retarded, walks away or cries. Babies cry a lot. I made one cry with a puppet. (By accident I swear). What a softie. I must admit I laughed. Does that make me a terrible person?

Okay okay.
I have learned that babies can be fun, but you have to make it so. I was making one dance to the song I made up "babies are just mini drunks". He seemed to enjoy it and it made ME laugh. Isn't that the main thing? Laughter? I like to think so, I just hope that child services and the parents agree, but that's a whole 'nother barrel of fish. But seriously. They giggle their asses off so I think we're sweet as.

I'm taking a break from uni and might be getting into teaching when I do go back. This whole experience has been eye opening.

"You could be potentially looking after and teaching MY children???!"

MUHAHAHAHAHA.

YES, THIS IS HAPPENING.

Watch out world, a whole new generation of awesome kidlets approaches.

They will say "pantaloons" and "rad" and "that's a real thigh slapper". Just to mention a few.

Fuck tha police

 Comin' straight from the underground

I have been without the internet now for waaaaay too long.
In this time I can't even tell you what I've been doing.
I've lost my hardrive, (recovery is SO expensive),
and I sure as hell haven't been at uni doing my assignments.
Mostly hanging out.
Who knows where.

I have a new job in child care.
Oh the hilarity.
But it's quite fun!

Now, no internet and uni stress has brought me to the point where working at a legit job and getting money; ie, being a responsbile adult (See: boring) has made me realise that I need to have some time away from uni to get my shit together.

So I will!

I have neglected my vidya games (because everything requires the internet) and been working.
Well fuck.
This is what it's come to.

Now, with no internet and no university who knows what will come of me.
Perhaps I'll actually start driving and perhaps I'll have money for once.

But only time will tell.
Regardless it will give me some time to reflect on what I've done and where I want to be.
Plus get some cash, get a car, license, etc. Maybe even travel a bit if I can.
We'll see.

All I know is that this feels like the right choice.

Also that buying things is fun.

What I feel like after finally making a decision

Those assignments can suck a fat one.

The secret world & how uni is making me feel dumb

OMFG LIKE. BEWBZ & GUNZ & ZOMBIES N SHIT


The secret world seems like a good way to make myself feel less shit about not understanding how to indentify what is an iambic word and what is a trochee. I mean, I studied my fair share of poetry throughout high school and college but I have never heard of these terms.

I'm sure missing lectures and tutes is not helping me, but now I'm not even sure what to do because I've also been ignoring my readings. Let's see how tomorrow goes.
But for now.
BEWBZ AND GUNZ N SHIT!

I will make sure I at least attend all my classes this week so I know what's going on, also getting on that comic thing. But this week is so freaking busy.

You get to that point where you have so much on that you just want to ignore everything and retreat into a book or a video game or sleeping? Too often I opt for the sleeping option.  But now I have a new MMO to sink my teeth into!

Also the character I made is super hawt.

The game itself (which I haven't played a lot of) is actually different from WoW. Which surprises me. It's like an action mmorpg wherein there are no classes and only humans (as the playable race).

www.thesecretworld.com

Who needs to study.

(Me, but pffft.)

Happy huntin', folks!

Too much oatmeal

Not enough originality
I always want to create a web comic whenever I read the things that the oatmeal and hyperbole and a half post. They are hilarious, and have talent (are able to draw). I like to think I am somewhat humorous but my ability to draw is somewhat lacking.

However! I will only learn if I try.
So here goes.
I will attempt to draw something and post results (because after all that's how you learn, right?)
I'll just have to force an idea to come out or keep doodling and hoping for the best.
Probably both.

Even still, it will be good for me to do more than just read web comics online and scroll through the interbuttz waiting until the evening (the only time I seem to do things any more other than uni and the occasional coffee). I also need to take more photos of random things. Carrying around a SLR I feel a bit like a douche bag. But last night at the bar some random who joined the assortment of uni drunks that convene on Thursdays did take quite a few photos of us as well as randoms, with my camera. I do enjoy someone who is able to make a dick of themselves, and he had that quite down, enjoying the reactions from people. So the hassle of carrying it around everywhere has not been all a waste.

It has been some time since I've taken photos of randoms (the day I got my camera doesn't count, a few randoms were exploited then).

Wish me luck!
By the by, curry & juice don't go well together.

Push me, and then just touch me

'Till I can get my satisfaction
I am mostly a reasonable person. Sometimes. Maybe. Well... okay maybe not.
But there is something uncool about getting a call from someone sloshed late at night asking you to travel a long way to see them.
I wonder what they could possibly want!
Which isn't to say I'm against sex, as long as it's consensual and not exploitive or anything. 
But when someone's been absent from your life for two weeks (a long time when you spent a lot of time together the months before that) then it's a little strange/aggrivating.

A friend of mine told me that I've been down due to lack of sexy times.
But try being a girl! Sex is the devil apparently.

The thing is, if everyone knows sex is awesome, why is it supposedly such a guilty pleasure? I mean honestly. What's the problem here? Why does it make a girl the scum of the earth if she has confidence and enjoys sex to see it out?
Bastards.
Trying to tell ME what to do.

I'm blonde now anyway, might as well live up to the stereotype, hey?
Bring out the short shorts and mini skirts!
Well, not really. It's too cold.
But for the unveiling of my hair today I am wearing a 5seeds top I got from O-week, so this has to count for something. Ahh, stereotyping is fun.
Even when it's against/for myself. I can enjoy categorising people. It's another guilty pleasure of mine. Looking at a random person walking past and deciding that due to that then they are obviously thinking this.

Eg. fat man in terrible clothing making a terrible joke BUT with a blonde hottie next to him.
Maybe he's rich. Maybe he's friendzoned hard.
Maybe they were childhood friends but she became hot and he didn't and then he turned out to have a billion dollar idea and became super rich and they happened to 'run into' each other (she planned this with consistant facebook stalking) and they caught up and she dug her claws into his life  and got pregnant so that they would have to marry and she'd live a life of ease of his money, constantly rejecting their child and having multiple affairs whilst he wished he married the quiet brunette in his office that was polite and sweet even before he made it.

Or maybe it's his sister.
I like my story better though! 

I went on space mountain 17 times

*clap clap*
Again, not really.

The song is just stuck in my head.


Alrighty! So I decided against the scam-tastic internet thing and now I'm looking for other wanky ways to weaken my worries. I had to stop for a second to think of a 'w' word that means taking away. It could've been better but I am not a poet.

I learned this today at my poetry tute where I was quite shocked to realise that I am not as intelligent as my college had me believe. I did a bit of poetry over the years in school but it turns out I have no idea how to dissect one and the words like 'trochee' terrify me.

I also skipped my last tute today because I was so worked up by stupid people and their stupid stressing me out. I want to be over all this sillyness and learn parkour instead.

It would be awesome, but I lack the testes to do this. Just yet.
I will one day know some basics of this, but hey. For now I'm scared I'll both make a dick of myself and/or kill myself in the process.

Wish me luck.

Also fuck you to best friends who are vacant.
I'm sick of putting up with people's bullshit.
I want to runaway and join the circus.

ZE END.

All doped up and nowhere to go

I am opposed to drugs.
I have valium, which I'm scared to ever use.
But let's be honest.. anxiety sucks balls.
& lately it's been playing up more than I would like to admit.
(A lot)
I'm sick of being held back from doing things I want to do.
I'm sick of being unhappy.
I should drink less.
But I'm scared to branch out and do something else.
This is the plan as the happier and less honest entry below this says.
I don't know what to do except opt for some random internet promoted thing.
Even if it's a placebo effect that it gives me, I am willing to pay for it.
This is what the site had to say about me when I finished the online test.

Apt.

I need less assholes in my life and more hobbies.
My SLR was so expensive and I've hardly even used it even though it's only what 2? days old.
Jesus.
All I want to do is sleep.
But all I have are nightmares.
I also lack the space to do so... how unnerving.

I want to be me again.
Whoever this whingy faggot is smells funny.

I also went blonde yesterday.
Notsureifwant.
It looks a lot better than I thought it would, so that's pretty ace.
Life is... lifey.

MFW

People ask me what I want to make me happy.

Hobbies and interests fade into the background as we become old and consumed by our own selfish lives. Oh yawnity yawn yawn. This is true, but who are the cool people that we want to be when we age? We want to be the ones who hang onto our youth, our hobbies, our interests.

We want to be people who care more about something, a passion, than some lame ass politics and paying the bills. How do people lose these things that make them young and happy? They get lazy. Laziness will be our downfall. Obesity is a problem because people could not be assed to do anything.

Eat what you want.
DO you what want.

But do SOMETHING, I know this, because I have been devoid of much to my life other than drinking and causing trouble for myself. Yes, this is a confession of sorts. I realised I may go out and drink more often than your average person.

Do I blame Australian culture?
Student culture?
OUR youth of today?
Fuuuck that.

I blame fear and laziness because I'm not going out there and doing something that makes me truly happy.

I want to learn parkour.
I want to get back into photography; and I took the first step today, I bought an SLR (with the money that I'm supposed to be spending on uni-related things) but hey, I bought my text books (all two of them) and I'm good to go!

I want to learn to draw cartoons.
Batman is amazing and I'd love to be able to create something like that!

I want to finish one of my stories. Create a new one? After finishing ONE!
Just one.
For once.

I can't access my computer to re-read the story The Pros and Cons of Killing Yourself that I had started to write and was quite enjoying due to my extremely depressing living arrangements. This is to say, I am living in a garage at my brother's house with my mother and a house full of belongings... all in this garage.

I am cramped to the extreme and pushed to feel bizarre, terrible things.
Like not awesome.
Quite... the opposite.

Due to recent developments with close friends being assholes, my destructive response to this, and terrible timing, I have been doing what I can to avoid being in that place despite a dwindling number of people I feel I can turn to. At this stage I am very appreciative of people who check up on me, ask if I'm okay, and those who are keeping me from sobbing quietly in the corner of a garage or running away and doing something stupid like drugs.

Yes, I'm opposed to drugs.
Yes, I drink too much.
Hypocrite?
Bite me.

I am excited for things to change, and knowing that it'll be two weeks until my mother and I are able to move into the new place and have some space again I'm both unbelievably tense and relieved.

The roller coaster continued today as my camera made me very excited, but my over all displeased look at how things are made it not the unbelievable experience it should have been. (Such as when I found out that I'm getting a signed photo of Adam West as blue batman).

Feeling so down the last thing you want to do is receive a message from a good friend. One of your best friends. Especially in a time when you feel like everyone around you either wants sex or someone to be around whilst they drown out their sorrows with alcohol... You don't want someone to message you saying they can't see you so much anymore.

It's too hard because they care too much and it's painful to watch.
Fucking feelings.
He likes her and she likes him and he likes ducks.
Nobody seems to 'win' with these things.

I have now seen The Dark Knight Rises twice.
It's amazing.

Some days you just don't know how to finish a blog;

I've got the moves like jagger

Not really LULZ...

My costume turned out okay, so that made me happy. It was an awesome night and a lot of silly people seemed to think I dressed like that normally, slash they had no idea who I was. What has the world come to!!

So, I've known for a long time now that I have never and never will be cool.
After you accept this it makes life a lot easier.
My friends and I seemed to be the only ones who dressed up at this event other than the actual staff.

Bitches be jelly, yo.

In other news, I have become obsessed with the song 'Runaway' by Kanye West.
It's an awesome song, but also I've become quite fed up with how much emotional bullshit I put up with because I put effort in with all the wrong people.

How does one go about fixing this?

WELLITY!
I think for starters I need to make a serious effort to become closer with people from uni, which is to say, branch the fuck out.

I have a confession to make too...
I was more excited than a young adult should be to be buying my text books.
Something about learning and being productive again has made me feel less awful about the events as of late (realisation of troublesome people in my life).

But we'll see how this goes in the next couple of days, it's been one hell of a roller coaster.

OH! and I must mention that if you want to let someone know you're annoyed/piss them off please do not let them know in such a way that makes their evening by how stupid you do it.

Last night I was having dinner with some people, and I wandered off for a moment and saw a frenemy from college (senior years of high school for you amerifags) I wasn't sure where we stood at the time (I may or may not have posted this conversation on 9fag:

Btw, I have accepted that this will not ever be 'trending', (just like everything I do, amirite?) but if you laughed then give me a smiley or whatever. 
http://9gag.com/gag/4062155

ANYYYYWAY, I saw her and was like "Hey dude, what's up?"
"Ugh, hi..."
"Hm, we not talking?"
"No?"
"Alright, see ya!"

Awkward interactions FTW.
Oh golly I laughed.


Until next time, friends!
KEEP SMILING!

To the bat mobile!

USHERRR!

But seriously, Friday night a club is having a Gotham themed night and I am a little bit excited, I love batman just a little bit.
Since the 2005 'Batman Begins', I have been a massive fan, then when I played the game Arkham Asylum I fell even more in love and became a bit of a fangirl for Harley Quinn...

Now Arkham City isn't as good as Arkham Asylum, you must know this.
But it is still an awesome, fun game, with everyone's favourite psycho couple; Joker & Harley!

Fast forward to the present day and I'm waiting patiently for my Harley Quinn costume to arrive in the mail! It most closely resembles her Arkham City outfit, and I'll see what I can do to make it as close as possible but I'm working with this:

I'll need to add a black choker and do my hair in piggy tails with black and red hair spray, but I suppose it'll be all part of the experience having to add bits and pieces. I also know the costume wont be overly accurate, but it'll be fun and awesome and I'm pretty sure it's recognisable. We'll see.

But really, I dunno how it'll turn out.

Awake at 5am!?

For the second day in a row!
I have been awake until this time.
NOT OKAY.

Uni starts back in 2 weeks and I don't know how to adjust to the real world.
I also found out today that I have no lectures on Monday or Friday.
Four day weekend!
Shit's so cash.

This will lead me to having to get an actual job.
Because even I cannot spend all that time on the internet and sleeping. (Because let's be honest that takes up a lot of my current lifestyle.)

I have started thinking about my next tattoo, which I hope I wont get for another year and a half, but I'm getting super keen on them.
Doesn't help I've been looking at suicide girls, tumblrs featuring tattooed girls.... All because I didn't want to go to an ATM to get money out because then I'd have $20 on me, and ended up spending extra money on a magazine to do so.

THIS magazine:

Which makes me think:
Eew, gross. Why do fat chicks get tattoos in areas where you need to be skinny?
It's not okay for anyone involved.

Also /b/ (4chan) had a terrible thread of tattoos. It really makes you think how some people even MADE it to the age when they were legally allowed to get a tattoo if they are stupid enough to pay for and have on them permanently some of the designs I've seen.

Chasers also did a segmant on tattoos a while ago before their new show.. hamster on a wheel? or whatever it's called came out. One of them went around issuing fake fines for stupid tattoos, which of course most of the people responded to rather harshly. But you have to wonder. Who are your friends if not to call on you when you do something dumb? So honestly. He shouldn't have been the first person to let these people know. If he was, they need to get better friends.

Oh wait. They probably deserve each other. They can all be put on a special island where they can look like idiots and discuss 'the game'. Far away from me where I can get drunk and tell people my opinions on the world. Ah yes, life on my high horse IS good. Thankyou for asking.

Thankyou and good night (morning?).

I'm a writer. Yeah? No shit.

You don't say.
There are a great many things that are obvious to me. That don't seem to be obvious to other people. I'm not saying I have greater insight than all other human beings. That would just sound arrogant, which is of course not my intent at all. Oh my no. But some people just don't learn how to behave like normal human beings. This rustles my jimmies. I watch high school movies and see the 'loser' kid struggling and saying stupid things and I just think. Wow, how did you think that was okay? I have people in my life who have graduated from high school, people who are older than me and social norms seem to be completly beyond them.

This movie:

 

Which I re-watched last night after a few years, because a friend came over and was excited to see it. I didn't remember I'd seen it before until the premis of the story was revealed. Oh, I see, it's a kid struggling to be cool. Oh, it's a good boy being exploited by the cool/attractive kids and being turned into one of them? HOW ORIGINAL! Truth be told, considering that it's almost a unique take on this I'm not going to completly 'trash talk' the movie. (I'll be honest, as lame as that phrase is, it's fun to say.) It's a decent movie, but not worth watching unless you're really into the sort of drug, drama kind of dealio.

I digress. This kid really didn't see what was going on? I mean, I just don't understand why there are so many teenagers pining to be with the 'cool kids'. So many movies and TV shows about it. I used to loveee Christopher Pike's teenage novels when I was in high school, but I tried reading one now and the stereotypes that were so obvious just made me feel like I was being patronised. 

Yes, yes. Interests and such change (I'm only just getting back into writing, anime and hopefuly soon photography, although the flash on my camera is broken). But I don't understand how all these people really don't know how to be cool. How they never understand how to get an 'in'. Sure, genetics do come into it, but you know what? Be funny! Be nice!

I'm Australian and I loved anime, cosplay and video games during high school. Nontheless I got on with the vast majority of people. I did 'normal' things too like you know. Parties and what have you. But really, I just don't understand why people think it has to be one or the other. Learn how to join society! There are certain actions you don't do, certain things you don't say. Is it really that hard to figure it out that there are so many movies and series about the neglect and unobtainable friends?

I will spell it out to you, dear reader.

Be funny, be confident. Don't make a dick of yourself and brush your hair once in a while.

Fat bitches

The scene is set. A murder!

"I can't help feeling it would be sadder if she wasn't ...heavy"
You know why? Because fat bitches make people sad.
Skinny bitches make people sad too.
But it's okay, because we like to look at them regardless.

What is this new thing where people want 'real' models and more average 'girl next door' looking actors and actresses? Okay so maybe not so much for girls, but definately guys.

If I'm watching a movie I want sexy actors. Jesus. It's not rocket science.
I am rather fond of Thor.
He's all man.
But it's so rare that there are hot guy actors now. What is this?

Who ACTUALLY wants this 

 

Over this:

 

NOBODY! That's who.
Sheesh, get your shit together Hollywood. I want to be lost in the dreamy eyes and hot body of Chris Hemsworth, not see Seth Rogan be an asshole.

I have resolved to make myself have a hot body.
Yessiree.
I am not fat, I am not under this impression.
BUT! I want to be fit/toned. So. I will. Mostly because I'm superficial but also because I want to be better than people I hate.
This is possibly very stupid reasoning.
But I wont lie and say it's about health.

Wish me luck.
Eating out of boredom is a vice I am not quite sure how to deal with.
Also, food = happiness.

Anyway, this entry wasn't that amusing/witty. I just wanted to get the message across to myself and randoms on the internet, then maybe I wont get distracted and nibble absent mindedly whilst browsing 9gag.

We out, yo!

How aMUSE-ing.

Sex. Sexy, sexy sex.
Sex is awesome, we all know it.

Daydream nation put it well:
    "Okay, let's just say that I have banged forty guys. What's the problem? You're just jealous because you've been, ah, brainwashed by puritanical assholes who think sex is a sin. But then again, your, ah, little gerbil-sized brain has been reprogrammed by the media to believe that sex is the be-all, end-all. So now you're stuck, right? 'Cause on the one hand you love to fuck, but afterwards you feel overwhelmed by guilt & you're not sure why. Maybe it's because sex is neither as good or as evil as you've built it up to be."

It does put us in a cruel position. Especially for women. I can't so much speak for men, perhaps in this day and age they feel both guilt and pressure to get laid, despite the difficulty of frigid girls (ha). Personally, I think sex is fucking awesome (no pun intended.) But the guilt associated with women enjoying sex and seeking it out, even these days, outweighs my urge to well, 'seek it out.'

In a sense I want to be a young, liberated woman, who sees someone attractive and says "whatevs, I'm young." Not to the extent of not using protection or anything, because being young does not give you super powers, and an ever more liberating society is sure to be a sespool for ...unspeakable things.  But I'm not, because I have morals, I want to be a challenge, I want to feel special. But also I don't want to be judged, by myself, by friends, by society. Oh lordy loo, what would your brothers think? Will you never get into heaven now? How scary.

The magical 'relationship' status changes it and makes it okay. But what if you don't want that? I don't know if I do or I don't. Perhaps I do. But not with anyone I know right now. So what? I'm supposed to be a responsible young person and do nothing? How very, very dull.

Sexual liberation my ass. The guilt of doing absolutely anything is unbearable.
This is absolute balls.

Sometimes sex can be inspiring. I've seen really intricate things during. I've seen colours and patterns that one (more pretentious than myself) would consider beautiful art. I've seen an entire kingdom with samurai and guards and high stone towers, and from memory I can't figure out why that had come to mind. Sex, a muse.

Once I read a trashy article in some girly magazine that Lady Gaga 'avoids' sex because it takes away from her creativity. Yeah, right. Then she admitted that drugs encourage her creativity. Celebrities are weird.

Peace.

Drunk with what? With wine, with poetry, with virtue.

As you please. But get drunk.
Teenagers and adults seek to regain their childlike behaviours and views on the world by getting drunk. That's what I believe. That giddy feeling you get, the feeling that you can say and do as you please. The consequences don't matter. I remember the first time I got drunk. It was my older brother's 18th and I remember telling him "I knew what I was doing, I wasn't out of control, I just didn't care about the conesquences." He told me that's what being drunk was. I suppose in a sense it's liberating, that's why we enjoy it so much. That's why drinking at work functions could potentially be the death of you, or at least your career. Idiots.

At the start of the night having a thought about a person you see in a bar, and then waiting until the 'dutch courage' sets in and you can approach them and tell them what you think. This "fuck you" to social norms and pressures telling you that you can't say certain things because they aren't PC, or it's weird to approach people you don't know. But if this is the case, how would anyone meet anyone? It's becoming more and more apparant to me that meeting people without the influence is a daunting process, not for me in particular, but for society. How sad.

And so I'll continue to drink, because I am not opposed to it. I like to party. I'll be the first to admit that. There is a time and a place, however. I am prone to making quite a tool of myself, but are these just thoughts and actions that I want to do when sober and have been 'programmed' to ignore? Or does drinking make you a different person? I don't know anymore.

Food for thought.

Whatcha gonna do with all that time, all that time inside that life?

Ain't holidays grand!

No uni and no job make for an unproductive and overall uneventful life. At the moment the highlight has been food, sleep and today I got a new piercing. Isn't it strange to think you PAY someone to stab you in various places and put metal through you? Seems like something that should be avoided. But hey, I'm a fan. Also paying hundreds of dollars to be stabbed repetitively by needles (tattoos). They're pretty rad. It's fun to get them done, because it's exciting and something new. Does that make me a massachist? Perhaps. It's more the adrenaline rush than actually being poked (no sex pun intended).

I just watched Limitless, and it makes me feel like I should be doing more with life. The main character was a bit of a tosser for most of the movie, but comparing his life where he did nothing to the life where he was motivated and making the most of life on that drug makes me feel guilty because I can relate to the writer that doesn't write anything a lot more.

But I suppose we can't all be CEOs. How else can we motivate ourselves to do well if not to say a big F you to all those people you hate. My brother once told me "the best revenge is being better than people". He didn't mean I should be the bigger person and not hate on people, he literally meant doing well and watching the people from your past flail around in an endless pool of self destruction is so very satisfying. The purpose of facebook, really. Making it easier to watch people from your past and present change and then of course to brag about how your change has been for the better.

I don't actually think I am able to follow the two people I would say I actually hate, stupid people and their actually wanting to be friends with their friends on these stalker sites. I would rather just tell people how kickass things are going.

I love uni.
I have kickass people in my life.
I am doing well.
I am having fun.
I love life.

This is all I want the vast majority of people to see and think. I think it's very selfish of people to make others feel bad and complain to them all the time. This is the complete opposite of what I was saying before, but those are people I hate. I hate those guys. People complaining and telling people all the time (especially if you're out as a group) and bringing everyone down is so... so... boring. Honestly, can't they do it elsewhere? I like to get my jiggy on.

A guy walks into a bar

I forget the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore.
My complete lack of ability to stick with anything is somewhat troubling sometimes. I mean, I have a story I started in year 8 that had a lot of readers online and off, but I just get distracted by so many things. Mostly social networking, or cartoons, or sleep. Don't get me started on how many books I've started and stopped halfway through, or TV series even! I could go off on quite a tangent there, and tangents don't have to ever finish, which is why they're so great. 


Bars are great for this, people of various education levels battling it out on various topics. Sometimes somebody says something and you just think "wow, okay, you actually believe that?" Either it's incredibly dumb or it's just so... not PC let's say, haha. Depending on how much I like hearing the sound of my own voice at the time (which let's be honest, is probably a lot) I'll continue to argue with these people and not just shut them down or excuse myself due to fear of logic-cancer. It gets interesting. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm forced to excuse myself due to fear of logic-cancer.

Today I was trying to make a coffee, hang out washing and write. Instead I asked myself aloud what the date was and decided to make a facebook status about it asking if I was normal. Talk about attention whoring. Rest assured though, I did get over 10 likes and a decent amount of comments. I know, some child in some country I've never heard of lacks clean water, but rest assured.


Jesus! Talk about pretentious.
Here, enjoy some cute puppies to make up for it.
Still with me?
GOOD! (muhhahaha, silly person.)

Validate me! Validate me!
You are not how many likes you have. You are not the contents of your comments. You are not your fucking friends list.
You have to give up.
You have to realise, that some day your friends will move on from facebook.
Until you know that, you are useless.

I know, it's my second fight club reference on a blog with few posts. But! You have to admit it's a pretty kickass movie. Also, fuck you, it's my blog. If you want to read about ponies try somewhere less awesome.

This is why I should/shouldn't write at 4am. I'm awake now (and I shouldn't be) and I'm typing up random thoughts rather than anything of actual substance. I'm actually scared to look at facebook now because KFC has posted an advertisment and I know I'll feed the bottomless pit that IS my stomach despite my (hopefully soon) bed time. Yes, advertisments work. Yes, there is a reason they exist. Yes, I am a mass media 'victim'. Yes, I really want KFC now.

Fuck you, KFC.

What's my age agin?

I remember hearing somewhere that teenagers actually work better later on in the day ,

Perhaps even evening/night? I wonder if that's true. I also wonder if that applies to 'young adults'.

Funny categories the terms 'young adult' and 'adult'. I mean, technically us 'young adults' are just 'adults'. But we aren't really considered by ourselves or society as adults. Which is fine with me, I'm about 5yrs old sometimes. But I do fear that I will never actually be an adult.

There is of course an appeal to holding onto being young, but one day you've got to grow up and join society as a 'responsible' member. Or else live out your days as a drop kick.

I fear now, that I lack the path towards being an adult, all the right things you should have at my age... My whole life I've been told I act/speak mature for my age, but when "age" comes I doubt my actions are really up to scratch.

The difference between 18 and before? I can now procrastinate and avoid responsibility in a much more reckless way. I can purchase alcohol. But what now? I'm not 18 anymore and as the months turn over I wonder if I'll ever be a responsible member of society.

But honestly? Fuck it. It concerns me, but I know I'm still young and in the words of blink 182 "...many years ahead to fall in line". Wise, wise words.

Peace out, yo!
Sincerely, a less than legit adult.

Validity

The funny thing is
I'm writing an essay which celebrates the exciting opportunities that blogging presents. Enabling all people with access to the internet to post their thoughts and opinions! How very exciting indeed.
However! I could be writing absolute nonsense here. I could actually be a fundamentalist. A feminist who's actually trying to find out who believes these vile things so I can track you down and hack your pretty faces to pieces.
This is not the case.
BUT! For all you know it is.
It's interesting, reading this article 'The Google Effect: Googling, Blogging, Wikis and the Flattening of Expertise', has made me sad for how much utter 'bullshit' we are exposed to, and how much unverified stuff we are unware is said bullshit.

A case in point is a relation of mine saying how vaccinations are the devil and going to kill us all and how her kids will not be put under risk like that, citing questionable resources and thinking she knows everything because the interwebs said so.

Another relation that is a Dr. responded to these claims, backing his argument up with scholarly articles and well, he's in the field with real information. But she's 'sticking to her guns'. It's really sad to watch. People are so dumb. Fo real.

Fem-bitches

Wow! Fans already!
And I'm so new to this!
I'm honoured.

Voyeurism and mayhem

I wondered how clean the gun was
These blogs are a form of journalism and self expression.
But really, it's personal thoughts that you think others need to know/see and then approve of. Or at least be aware of.
Which is pretty funny.
Putting yourself out there like that.
Love me! Love me! Sayy that you love me!

Anyway, I've started reading Fight Club, after seeing the movie many, many times. Interesting how closely they followed the book (so far as I can tell). Along with having read part of Joey (asofteroworld.com)'s Lockpick Pornography ( http://lockpickbook.blogspot.com/ ) which made me somewhat uncomfortable, but excited me with the 'project mayhem'-esque nature the story was approaching.

I can't help that rebellion and mayhem excite me, there's just nothing I feel the need to rebel against. I'm pretty happy with most things. Students are supposed to be overly opinionated, but my only real concern is censorship. Internet censorship I would fight against tooth and nail.

However really there's been no need. Which is dissappointing. I thought at this stage in my life I would be like that annoying blonde chick from Community [the TV show]. Only less annoying. But, alas, I don't want to completly destroy my life like they do in Fight Club, nor do I want to terrorise in the name of gay freedom like they do in Lockpick Pornography.

Instead I'll share these pointless thoughts.
Because after all, that's the fun of this.

Insight into my mind

 

 

These are extracts from my journal.

Gender studies and why I don't give a fuck

Men and women are different, get over it!
I chose gender studies mostly to fill up space... unable to decide on a fourth subject.
My hardest decision is whether I should skip the lecture and listen to it, or go because I cannot stay awake when listening to it.
Really, I can't listen either way.
So dull and full of sexist undertones towards men.
Occasionally the lecturers tryyy and avoid this, but even then the idiots in my class that give the term 'feminist' a bad face make comments that make me cringe.
I like gender roles.
What's wrong with them?
Choice is definately good. I'm pro-choice.
But! The point is that in modern times women who want to stay home and look after their children are seen as putting the feminist movement many years back.
What happens to the children in those families? Raised by strangers?
Business women are great. I want to have a career. I want a family. There are problems here with how I'm supposed to balance these things, but the point is I have respect for women who stay home and look after their families. Their children.
Men being men is also attractive for a reason. It's so rare these days. Men are expected to be women, women are expected to be men. No wonder there is so much confusion these days.
Equality is impossible.
There is a constant battle for who is going to have the greater power, which I suppose is not a bad thing as long as both fight.
But when men fight for this it's looked down upon.

Not to mention sexuality in advertising is supposedly the devil.
It is nooo secret that sex sells. Is anyone really arguing against this?
Apparently this is exploiting women. I'm faiiiirly sure that the women in the ads are happy with their bodies and that they are paid for this. Who's being exploited here?
Women are able to use 'erotic capital' as Catherine Hakim calls it more easily than men, and why not? Enjoy the differences in gender roles. They are fun.

Happiness gained but not earned

Greetings.
I've been known to get overly excited over things that really don't mean anything at all. Or get overly enthusiastic to learn about the world, the traditional poets, the philosophies that have shaped the thinking past and present and then distracted by the allure of KFC or cartoons.

The blog's name comes from a summary of my approach to life. I love learning, I have great enthusiasm towards a lot of things. But most of it comes down to the stupid little things. The first coffee of the morning, the redbull that you manage to scrape enough coins together to afford to get you through your essay, that burst of energy that comes from nowhere and helps you deal with all of life's utter bullshit.

I'm writing an essay at present about blogging.
How do blogs affect the ownership of information?
What information can be trusted?
Who has the authority to spread such information?
Who is held accountable?
What of publishers?
Etc.

But really, another mindless academic blog is not what I'm interested in. We'll get to that pretentious stuff later (and with many [hopefuly] entertaining gaps), for now I just thought I would set the stage so to speak for how I allowed myself to succumb to this, what I had previously thought of, pointless pieces of texts and create my own.