I can't find my Xbox controller, I might murder my dog

Where the fuck is my xbox controller? I need to be saving Gotham!
That was my thought earlier today. Which lead to thinking, oh christ. What if  the puppies have gotten to it? Then thinking fuck. is it worth having this cute thing be all adorable n shit when she just destroys my stuff? Maybe I should never have gotten one!

Of course I found it moments later behind the couch but that's beside the point. She had destroyed my network cord days earlier and the $30 required for me to buy a new one is just an outrage. So I've been using my smart phone's wi-fi instead. Until today when I realised I can just use the cord direct from the NBN and deny the laptop internet, muahhahaha.

This is Harley-Quinn about to attack Batman, the one lying on him is Kiki.

Yes, I named my dog after Harley-Quinn, but I mostly just call her "Harley" so that makes it more normal, right? Or the fact that I call her "Harl" or "Harlz", because we're totally so close and I'm cool like that.

Ehem, so perhaps it's the impatience I feel right now because I just ate two buritos and I want to eat dessert while playing secret world but they haven't digested yet but puppy training is making me pretty keen and anxious and all these emotions at once that I shouldn't be worrying about just yet but because I'm batshit I am.

This stems from me trying to take a box away from Harley and experiencing difficulties.

Why can't she play with the super cool toys I give her like this toy that looks like tree trunks from adventure time or the blue batman plushie pictured above!?

Why she would rather chew on my tissues (I have been sick for forever & ever and it's making me mad) which is like. totally super gross. And boxes? I'm not a particularly tidy person, I'll admit. But comeon, Harlz. We need to work as a team here!

Mini Drunks

Babies are just mini drunks!
They really are. All that pooping and swaying, needing to be supported and giggling at the dumbest shit. They even throw up randomly & devour food whilst getting it everywhere. They don't like to be touched, or like to be touched by certain people and cry when they aren't. They need constant attention and attack/pull people on a whim.

 My first encounter with a baby one I didn't want to hold him. He was my nephew and I was worried that anything, well, any person could exist that was smaller than me. I didn't know how to deal with a person smaller than me and this led to me holding him as awkwardly as one would hold a bomb. Luckily for both me and those who have held bombs, he did not "go off" so to speak. This short encounter made me weary of babies and skeptical of any future encounters.

Link gets me.

*Enter job that falls into my lap in daycare*

Children are rad.
They are much smarter than people give them credit for and they enjoy me roaring like a dinosaur and generally acting like a fool.
They actually ask for me to do this rather than my friends insisting on me stopping. It's great.
Everything's great.

OH WAIT!
Now I'm in the baby room and babies are fucking boring. Have you ever tried to chase a baby whilst acting like a dinosaur? It either looks at you like your fucking retarded, walks away or cries. Babies cry a lot. I made one cry with a puppet. (By accident I swear). What a softie. I must admit I laughed. Does that make me a terrible person?

Okay okay.
I have learned that babies can be fun, but you have to make it so. I was making one dance to the song I made up "babies are just mini drunks". He seemed to enjoy it and it made ME laugh. Isn't that the main thing? Laughter? I like to think so, I just hope that child services and the parents agree, but that's a whole 'nother barrel of fish. But seriously. They giggle their asses off so I think we're sweet as.

I'm taking a break from uni and might be getting into teaching when I do go back. This whole experience has been eye opening.

"You could be potentially looking after and teaching MY children???!"

MUHAHAHAHAHA.

YES, THIS IS HAPPENING.

Watch out world, a whole new generation of awesome kidlets approaches.

They will say "pantaloons" and "rad" and "that's a real thigh slapper". Just to mention a few.