Sunday, 14 October 2012

Mini Drunks

Babies are just mini drunks!
They really are. All that pooping and swaying, needing to be supported and giggling at the dumbest shit. They even throw up randomly & devour food whilst getting it everywhere. They don't like to be touched, or like to be touched by certain people and cry when they aren't. They need constant attention and attack/pull people on a whim.

 My first encounter with a baby one I didn't want to hold him. He was my nephew and I was worried that anything, well, any person could exist that was smaller than me. I didn't know how to deal with a person smaller than me and this led to me holding him as awkwardly as one would hold a bomb. Luckily for both me and those who have held bombs, he did not "go off" so to speak. This short encounter made me weary of babies and skeptical of any future encounters.

Link gets me.


*Enter job that falls into my lap in daycare*

Children are rad.
They are much smarter than people give them credit for and they enjoy me roaring like a dinosaur and generally acting like a fool.
They actually ask for me to do this rather than my friends insisting on me stopping. It's great.
Everything's great.

OH WAIT!
Now I'm in the baby room and babies are fucking boring. Have you ever tried to chase a baby whilst acting like a dinosaur? It either looks at you like your fucking retarded, walks away or cries. Babies cry a lot. I made one cry with a puppet. (By accident I swear). What a softie. I must admit I laughed. Does that make me a terrible person?

Okay okay.
I have learned that babies can be fun, but you have to make it so. I was making one dance to the song I made up "babies are just mini drunks". He seemed to enjoy it and it made ME laugh. Isn't that the main thing? Laughter? I like to think so, I just hope that child services and the parents agree, but that's a whole 'nother barrel of fish. But seriously. They giggle their asses off so I think we're sweet as.

I'm taking a break from uni and might be getting into teaching when I do go back. This whole experience has been eye opening.
"You could be potentially looking after and teaching MY children???!"

MUHAHAHAHAHA.
YES, THIS IS HAPPENING.
Watch out world, a whole new generation of awesome kidlets approaches.
They will say "pantaloons" and "rad" and "that's a real thigh slapper". Just to mention a few.


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